Big Book p.62 paragraphs 1 and 2: (para 1)”Selfishness–self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. ….(para 2) “So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves….Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! …. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.”
If we dissect the Third Step and Set-Aside prayers, we will find nine-tenths of the solution to our problems. Knowing what the root of our addiction is–selfishness and self-centeredness (i.e. we want to be liked, loved, and respected by all)– is the last one-tenth of the solution.
Q1) Write on that. Write on the magnitude of how that desire to be liked by all wrecks healthy
intimacy with others.
Q2) Write again on “Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity…” There are truly so many variations of forms of fear, etc.
Q3) Write: “I set the ball in motion to be hurt.
BB p. 62 para 1 says again and again and again that ‘I set the ball in motion to be hurt’ by making “decisions based on self”.
Stephanie learned to say, when she feels hurt by someone: ‘What have I done to hurt or harm you?’ to the person she feels hurt by – because it’s a subjective perception that causes broken relationships. And Stephanie doesn’t want any broken relationships in her life. (Does that mean Stephanie will keep these people in her life? Not necessarily.)
Q4) Write on Big Book p. 62 paragraph 2(the entire paragraph): “So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. ….Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.”
Q5) Are you there- knowing that you need God’s help?
Hopefully, at the end of this workshop, you will be able to pass on the message and not your mess. My job is to walk alongside of you, for you to admit what your problem is, and then to live in the solution – no longer to moan about the problem. And finally- to pass it (the solution) on and help others.
The first step of the solution is the Third Step prayer.
If you dissect it, it has every bit of the solution:
(a) dissect the problem (b)pass it on to the God of your understanding and then (c) live in the solution.
The second step is the Set-Aside prayer:
To be teachable and humble. Remembering that we do not know, we must go to God. Thus we can never pretend that we know, with our egos, what is good for someone else (i.e. a sponsee).
These two prayer directives are nine-tenths of the solution.
The last one-tenth is really looking at our character defects and making amends.
Living in Step Ten, constantly taking inventory, equals ‘living in the solution’- looking at only our side of the street, at what WE do when others do to us what bother us.
If your problem (addiction) brings you to your knees it has done its job.
Our live phone meetings are every Tuesday at 8:00 AM EST. The phone number for these live meetings is (712) 775-7031, and the meeting ID number is 714744988#.
P O Box 531
North Pembroke MA 02358
You can listen to our recorded meetings at (641) 715-3900, pin 95666# for our Tuesday Big Book Step Study workshop. You can also hear our Thursday Big Book Study recordings at (641) 715-3900, pin 298913#. These meetings can be accessed at any time.